Fun(?) with Junk Wax -- Quien Es Mas Macho?

I was itching to open a couple packs of cards and this idea just popped in my head.  I'm afraid it's not going to turn out well but I'm going with it.  Anyone remember the Bill Murray SNL game show sketch "Quien es Mas Macho" from 1979?  It featured Gilda Radner and Ricky Nelson and is famous for the line. "Quien es mas macho, Fernando Llamas o Ricardo Montalban?"  (Insert crickets chirping.)

Here's my take using two packs from 1990:

Quien es mas macho, los jugadors de beisbol de Score o de Topps?  

I don't think a scrappy bunter is as macho as a 23-6 stud pitcher who led the AL in innings pitched and won the AL Cy Young award hands down.  And Bret Saberhagen sounds like a Viking or something and they were very macho.

1-0 Topps

This is a tough one.  My first impulse is that anyone named "Rock" wins this.  But then I read about Pasqua's mammoth home runs.  So let's get personal.  I'm a die hard North Side Cubs fan who doesn't much care for the Sox.  And I never liked those uniforms.  I think Tim Raines should be in the Hall of Fame.  And I do like the old Expos uniforms.  Raines rocks the win.

2-0 Topps

OK Lee, you had me with the awesome sneer.  Then Score said you were "a gentle man with a twinkle in his eye."  But you're also "6'8" tall and an imposing figure on the mound."  On the other side we have journeyman Jeff who seems to be admiring his lazy fly ball to short center.  And he named his daughter Lynzie.  Not Lindsay, Lynzie.  Uh, uh, no.  Gentle badass Lee gets Score on the board.

Topps 2-Score 1

I remember not liking George Bell much when he was a Cub and then he was traded for Sammy Sosa who I don't care to remember.  But Kevin Seitzer looks like Casper the Friendly Ghost bunting.  George Bell is definitely mas macho.  Tie game!

Score 2- Topps 2

I don't know.  I think this one is a push.  

Score 2- Topps 2

Gene Nelson seems to be doing his best Dennis Eckersley impression.  I knew Dennis Eckersley.  You sir are no Dennis Eckersley.  Omar Visquel on the other hand won 9 straight Gold Gloves and played for 24 seasons.  That's macho enough for me.  Topps regains the lead.

Topps 3 - Score 2

Fuhgeddaboudit!  Hall of Famer Eddie Murrray es muy macho.

Topps 4 - Score 2

 

It's like kissing your sister.  Nothing to see here.

Topps-4 - Score 2

Another easy one.  Gaetti is in the Hall of Very Good.  He's also pretty macho.

Topps 4 - Score 3

George Brett gave new meaning to the phrase "roid rage".  He's an all-time great and got muy, muy macho one night:

From CBS Sports: http://www.cbssports.com/mlb/news/the-bobblehead-project-george-bretts-pine-tar-incident/

We have ourselves a game here.  All tied again.  Score 4 - Topps 4

Sorry Steve, Nolan macho'd his was to the Hall of Fame.  Throwing heaters like he did for nearly three decades makes him macho indeed.

Score is scrappy but can't seem to break through.

Topps 5 - Score 4

Mets fans may be saying this is rigged but I'm calling this one a tie.  Both good players who won championships.  Ward was stopped by injuries in his prime.

Topps 5 - Score 4

This one's tough.  Can't just go by home runs.  Herbie (not a macho nickname) is a hunter and fisherman.  Jeltz was a bounty hunter for a time.  I can't pickem.

Topps 5 - Score 4

Perhaps I'm missing something but these are two boring guys.  Tie.

Topps 5 - Score 4

I don't really think Ryno is macho (I knew this concept was sketchy) but he's a Cub and he's in the HOF so he gets Topps another win.

Topps 6 - Score 4

I do think of Speier as feisty and hard-nosed.  That is a gum stain on the back of his card.  The gum was still in one piece.  No I didn't even consider trying to chew it.

Topps 7 - Score 4  Topps Wins! Topps Wins!

 

   Consolation prize goes to Score for the MVP insert.

Also, the award for best card backs to Score.  The print is small but they have everything you could want with the possible exception of a cartoon.  Where would you put it?

I'm sorry I was right.  This concept fell short.  Oh well.  I had fun looking at the cards and doing a little research on the players along the way.  Hope it was worth your time too.  Thanks for stopping by.