Singer, songwriter, composer, Randy Newman is celebrating his 66th birthday today. I love his wicked sense of humor. Here's his entry from the Songwriters Hall of Fame.
No one likes us-I don't know why
We may not be perfect, but heaven knows we try
But all around, even our old friends put us down
Let's drop the big one and see what happens
We give them money-but are they grateful?
No, they're spiteful and they're hateful
They don't respect us-so let's surprise them
We'll drop the big one and pulverize them
Asia's crowded and Europe's too old
Africa is far too hot
And Canada's too cold
And South America stole our name
Let's drop the big one
There'll be no one left to blame us
We'll save Australia
Don't wanna hurt no kangaroo
We'll build an All American amusement park there
They got surfin', too
Boom goes London and boom Paris
More room for you and more room for me
And every city the whole world round
Will just be another American town
Oh, how peaceful it will be
We'll set everybody free
You'll wear a Japanese kimono babe
And there'll be Italian shoes for me
They all hate us anyhow
So let's drop the big one now
Let's drop the big one now
The Great Nations of Europe had gathered on the shore
they'd conquered what was behind them and now they wanted more
so they looked to the mighty ocean and took to the western sea
The great nations of europe in the 16th century
Hide your wives and daughters, hide the groceries too
The great nations of europe comin through
The Grand Canary Islands first land to which they came
they slaughtered all the canaries there which gave the land its name
there were natives there called guanches, guanches by the score
bullet's, disease the portugese, they weren't there any more
now they're gone, they're gone, they're really gone
you never seen anyone so gone
there's pictures in a museum, some lines written in a book
but you won't find a live one, no matter where you look
Hide your wives and daughters, hide the groceries too
The great nations of europe comin through
columbus sailed for india found salvidor instead
he shook hands with some indians and soon they all were dead
they got tb and typhoid and athletes foot, diptheria and the flu
'scuse me great nations comin through
balboa found the pacific and on the trail one day
he met some friendly indians whom he was told were gay
soooooooooooooo
he had them torn apart by dogs on religious grounds they say
the great nations of europe were quite holy in their way
now they're gone, they're gone, they're really gone
you never seen anyone so gone
some bones hidden in a canyon some paintings in a cave
they're no use tryin to save them, there's nothin left to save
hide your wives and daughters, hide your sons as well
with the great nations of europe you never can tell
where you and i are standing on the end of a century
europes have sprung up everyone as even i can see
but there on the horizon is the possiblity
that some bug from out of africa might come for you and me
destroying everything in it's path from sea to shining sea
like the great nations of europe in the 16th century
A parody from Madtv
Canadian musician Paul Shaffer turns the big 6-0 today. A former band member on SNL Paul has been bandleader for David Letterman since 1982.
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